In this series, we meet adoptees from around the world who have returned to live in Korea. We want to discover how adoption has shaped their lives and what their experience in Korea has been like.
Miranda’s new life began at 8 months old when she journeyed halfway around the world to the Netherlands, where she grew up with her Dutch parents and younger brother. She didn’t grow up with many other Asians; in fact, the other only Asians she grew up with were her brother and cousin, who were also adopted from Korea. Although they grew up together, they never spoke about being adopted or about Korea. She actually never even really thought about Korea until she was in her thirties.
Her interest began when a friend asked her to translate a Korean cookbook from English to Dutch. “I started looking on the internet for how to spell Korean words, and what kinds of ingredients were in the dishes, which I found interesting.” This initial interest inspired a return to her birth land in 2007. While on the tour, managed by a fellow Dutch adoptee with a Korea-based travel agency, she discovered an affinity for the sights and the food. This was also the first time she hung out with other adoptees. Of the group of around 20 people she traveled with, 10 were adoptees. “I didn’t realize how much I had in common with my fellow adoptees, so it was fun to discover our similarities.” Her curiosity brought her back to Korea again in the summer of 2011 when she received a scholarship to study Korean for one semester at Sogang University.
It took Miranda six years to finish her PhD, which she finally received in 2018. After she graduated, she intended to spend a well-deserved “gap year” planning her future. Instead, she found herself working, and continued to work as a teacher for InKAS’ low-income English program, a part-time role that she began while in her PhD program. To further make use of her degree, she also teaches at English camps in the summers and winters, a time when many Korean parents decide to send their children to intensive programs between school terms. While she finds it fun to work with children and apply her academic efforts, she actually spends most of her workweek putting her native Dutch to use.
Since high school, Miranda has found herself enamored with English books and television. Years later and thousands of kilometers away, she now finds herself making a living from her hobby. Working as a freelancing subtitle writer, she translates for Dutch television and movies. This job has granted her flexibility and freedom to get the most out of her time in Korea. It also suits her perfectly. “I like to work with language, but I’m not really very original; I’m not writing things myself. It’s nice to work with language. You can think of different ways to say things.”
She enjoyed this extended period in Korea so much that she decided to move here in 2012. However, it was a huge shock when she came to actually live here. “It was way less fun than during the language course. It was hard to make people understand you.” Although she had already completed level 2 in her Korean language studies at Sogang, she decided to apply for the NIIED graduate school scholarship, intending to generate stable income with a degree. She applied for the PhD program, opting to work toward a doctorate in English Language and Education, choosing Sogang because she felt that the required Korean language courses at Sogang had the best method.
After applying to the doctoral program at Sogang she assumed that she would be enrolled at the language program there as well, so she was surprised to discover that the government had enacted a new policy requiring NIIED students to enroll in a program at a different university from their language program. To her dismay, she found herself assigned to a program in Jeonju. “I had planned on taking Korean language classes at Sogang, so I already had a place in Seoul; I ended up paying two rents.” When she was finally accepted into her program at Sogang, she once again discovered her enthusiasm for studying, particularly when it came to discussing literature. Despite the fact that she had completed her Korean language program, most of her classes were in English, requiring her to use her hard-earned Korean skills in only two mandatory classes.
With a resume bolstered mainly by freelancing roles, repatriating to Korea was quite simple for Miranda, and in some ways greatly beneficial. Her subtitling work requires only a stable internet connection, so she is able to work from anywhere. She also discovered that for Dutch citizens who live out of the Netherlands for more than eight months, the government requires them to pay taxes to their host nation. Upon registering herself and her translation services as a company, she was pleased with the financial implications.
“Taxes here are a lot cheaper than in the Netherlands, so it was not a bad thing to do.” Of course, nothing in life is truly complication-free. After registering herself as a one-person company, she found that Korean law required her to be paid into a Korean bank account. To cut costs, Miranda opted to send invoices to her clients quarterly. She also discovered that there were certain domestic legal requirements for registering herself as a business.
“Many Koreans don’t claim all their income on their taxes, so a lot of landlords and house owners do not claim all their rent from tenants.” Consequently, Miranda has to make sure she lives in a place that claims all of her rent; otherwise, the tax office will discover that the landlord is generating income from her rent and issue a tax bill. This unusual situation means that the least complicated housing option is typically an officetel, a type of studio apartment or loft that is also commonly used as a small, registered office (in fact, the G.O.A.’L. office is an example of this arrangement). However, because of the dual-use nature of these facilities, they tend to be more expensive than a typical one-room apartment. “It’s tricky to talk to a Korean about my situation because they are not used to exceptions.” When she explains the situation, the landlords just assume it is a straightforward residential lease, so she has to be very explicit and fluent in knowing the relevant terminology in Korean to ensure that her situation is allowed. “In my house in Kyungridan, they first told me it was okay, but then once I lived there, they said no, so these types of things are quite challenging.” She has never moved this much in her life, living in nine different apartments in her nine years in Korea.
Before COVID-19, Miranda lived a pretty normal life. As a freelancer, she tries to keep normal working hours and work only during the week, occasionally finding herself working on the weekends to meet deadlines. “The Netherlands is 7-8 hours behind depending on daylight savings time, so when I’m expecting work, I might be working until 1 or 2 AM, or just waiting for work to come until that time.” She would meet friends after work and attend a lot of social events with adoptees. “Most of the time when you hang out with foreigners, it’s just the same actually… You just eat, and then you drink and then you drink more and maybe you go to noraebang (karaoke room) and then maybe you eat some more and go home.”
Becoming a doctoral graduate didn’t demarcate the end of her curiosity. Miranda has continued to expand her knowledge and skillset, taking ballet classes, yoga classes, Italian, more Korean, and a tea ceremony class. “I started learning how to play the guitar last year. I’m not sure if I can say I can play it, but I’m trying. I started classes. It’s fun. I’m not sure if my neighbors like it, so I try to keep it to daytime hours. My apartment walls are okay, but upstairs. I guess the ceiling is not that thick.”
While the ballet and yoga classes were taught in English by foreigners, she decided to take the tea ceremony class as a way to learn tradition-specific Korean. “It seemed like a good idea at the time to learn more Korean by taking a class in Korea instead of taking language classes…The practical part was a lot of fun, but then after one year, we started doing theory and I had no idea what they were talking about.” She learned how to do the ceremony for loose leaf tea and powdered green tea, learning the traditional Korean ceremony. “It was a lot of fun because even though I didn’t understand half of what they were saying, I just watched them and copied what the teacher did and I was fine.” However, the third semester resembled a Korean university class more than a cultural experience, spending four to five hours listening to a lecture given by a different teacher each week, all of whom appeared to be disinterested in answering questions or furthering their students’ knowledge. Amid the PowerPoints packed with unfamiliar hanja (Chinese script) and technical terminology, Miranda found herself falling asleep for half of the lessons, so she decided not to continue. “I learned a lot of technical words that I will probably never need to use again in my life.”
Like most adoptees who have made their way back to Korea, the curiosity of finding their birth parents cannot be avoided. “I have looked for my birth parents, but I have not found them… I’ve done the DNA test and I’ve been on the KBS TV show, but I’m not really adamantly looking or searching for them, so that doesn’t help.” However, she has learned that she actually has two Korean names. The first time she went to her orphanage in Busan, they told her they had no files on her adoption. She decided to contact her adoption agency, KSS, who in turn contacted the National Center for the Rights of Children (NCRC, the organization that, in 2019, absorbed Korean Adoption Services, or KAS), to see if they received her files, the standard course of action for orphanages no longer facilitating adoptions. “I thought maybe if they find some papers that are not in a file or couldn’t be placed that it could possibly be me.” At the time, she believed her Korean name was Hwang Hye-Jung (황혜정).
To her utter shock, she received an apology email from the NCRC; according to their records, “Hwang Hye-Jung” had actually been picked up from the orphanage by her grandfather. The NCRC proceeded to cross-reference that girl’s birthday with other girls in the orphanage at the time, and they found one: Kim Ji-Young (김지영). “I’m not sure if that’s the right deductive method to say that is me. If I’m not the official girl I was supposed to be, I could be from anywhere in Korea, who knows?” Miranda doesn’t believe that all this confusion was purely coincidental, and thinks there may be something deliberate in their actions. She thinks it would be helpful for adoptees to gather as much information as possible to present a uniform narrative. “People think each story is different and unique, but there were a lot of similarities and methods that were used [at that time for adoption].”
Miranda continues to share her thoughts on adoption and her concerns regarding records. However, she believes that “I’m never really an extremist in any way, so I’m not really an activist.” She thinks a lot more can be done to prevent adoption, or to prevent situations where children are born who are not wanted. While it may seem like the obvious solution, it would also have to include culturally-controversial issues like abortion and sex education in school.
“There are many children who are being born out of wedlock… [but] why would that be a problem?” She does believe Korean society is slowly changing, but she doesn’t know if it’s changing in the right way. “People just don’t get married or have kids anymore instead of thinking about it in a different way.” She doesn’t think it is feasible to stop adoption because there will always be children without parents, but she believes that adoption should focus more on the children instead of the parents. She also takes issue with the stigma around adoption in Korean society. She shares the story of a Korean acquaintance who adopted a Korean child. However, due to the cultural perception of adoption among Koreans, the child still doesn’t know they are adopted.
“It’s going up and down whether I like Korea or not. I’m still trying to adjust to their last-minute changes or their last-minute plans, and not keeping you in the loop about things unless you ask for it. I think Dutch people, and me in particular, are the complete opposite,” she reflects on a cultural issue addressed by previous interviewee Cory Ha. For adoptees who want to come live in Korea, she advises that they prepare themselves for what life has to offer here, which, in some cases, is not a lot. “A lot of people just end up here without any means of getting by or any plan; then they struggle.” For her, having social gatherings without any particular reason is nice, but these events have become non-existent due to COVID-19. “Sometimes it’s good to have an organization that can provide you with some kind of family or friend feelings when you live abroad… I think it could help with the whole community.” Like many other adoptees (including Guillaume Duret, IAM’s first interviewee), she thinks it is difficult to get close to Koreans and make close friendships.
Miranda had a close Korean friend when she first arrived who helped her a lot. However, when Miranda’s Korean got better, they got into an argument about her friend’s sister who had a baby boy. Her friend said that boys were always more active than girls. Miranda responded by stating that it’s also the way parents treat their children and what they allow them to do instead of adhering to gender stereotypes. Sadly, they never met again after that. “I bond with people who can tell me about good things and bad things and they can confide in me and I can confide in them.” She is also, even after all this time, uncomfortable with the hierarchy system that Korean society insists on keeping in place. When pressed for an example, she recalls how the oldest member of a group is expected to pay for meals, coffees, or drinks. This has led her to believe that there is a lack of depth in the friendships that are made here.
Miranda has never made any regular plans to go back to the Netherlands; typically returning for a funeral or some type of family event. “It sounds really bad. It turns out I’m at an age where family members pass away, so I’ve been back every two or three years.” She says that these trips back home are stressful because it feels like she’s just rushing to meet everyone and doesn’t have any time to enjoy being back; no time to go to the places she likes or eat the food she misses from back home. If she could have a normal week-long trip following her own itinerary, she would like to visit more frequently. Part of the reason she doesn’t go back often is because it is expensive. “Being a freelancer, every day you don’t work, you don’t earn any money.” Miranda’s Dutch mother came to visit her in Korea once, but that experience was laden with its own difficulties. “It was kind of a clash of cultures. She really didn’t like any of the food. She wasn’t interested in any of the culture. She didn’t buy anything at all Korean, so I’m not sure if I really liked her [being] here.” Fortunately, the occasion for the trip was not merely a visit, but to see Miranda get married, so there were plenty of people who could keep her mother preoccupied while Miranda was busy preparing for the wedding. Although she has been married, and divorced, she doesn’t really believe in marriage. “I think if you are living together, it is the same thing. Since living here, [I have found this] is quite a Dutch idea or concept because a lot of Koreans do not see it that way. A lot of my [non-Korean] friends are not married and have kids and that is perfectly normal.”
Miranda never planned on staying in Korea for this long. She has done some temple stays and has traveled all around the country. She has even been to the Diamond Mountain Resort in North Korea before they closed it. She has seen all the major cities, visited her orphanage, and travelled to the DMZ. She feels like once you have seen all the famous sites, a lot of cities in Korea will start to look the same. “I do like mountains a lot, but I would recommend going to a mountain that is not that popular because otherwise you are walking up in line between all the other Koreans.” She also really loves Jeju Island in the summer or spring because the whole island smells like oranges. “I still remember getting off the plane and smelling that scent of oranges. Every few months there’s this flare of thinking, maybe I should do something… and then it passes. With COVID-19, I just stay home all the time, so I’ve been thinking that maybe I should go back to the Netherlands, but who knows. I just kept teaching.”
